All I Could Ever Want
by TheStoriesWeLoveBest
Summary: He's being cruel to be kind, and her heart is breaking. Killian's Swan Song


Emma couldn't bare seeing him like this. Looking at her like that, that manic grin and a hard glint in his eyes. There was a cacophony behind her, her parents, Robin, Gold all screaming and scrambling, Regina was knocked out a while ago. ("Only those with real power at this fight, love" He'd snarled before sending her flying into a wall.) Emma was deaf to it all, her attention torn between his face, her true love's face that's twisted and morphed into this evil mask, and her son, held in a magical death grip about 10 feet in the air.

Henry's face was red, and his eyes pleading with her. He choked out a pleading, " _Mom"_ and Emma's soul shattered. Excalibur was heavy in her arms, it's tip against Killian's chest.

"Hear that darling? He's _begging!_ Must be more of his cowardly grandfather in him that I expected." Killian laughed heartlessly, his smirk reminiscent of so many good memories. "What a pity. Perhaps the lad would be better off if I just ended him now…"

His hand tightened over the air and Henry couldn't help the groan of pain caused by Killian's magic.

"NO!" Emma's heart was shattering, lying in dust inside her own chest. She would surely die of this pain. Killian relaxed his hand, waiting for her to say something, he took a perverse pleasure out of their misery. "Killian… please! Don't make me choose!"

"No Swan. You will choose. That cheap conjurer made the prediction a long time ago. Your choices would cost you something horrible. Now, will it be me or your son? If you choose me, I will forgive you everything. We can have the white picket fence and the power!"

She stared at him, desperately feeling her heart shatter and tears streaming down her face. Once upon a time, he would cup her cheek and kiss them away. "Please… Killian."

"You know Swan, I'm rather bored. Time to choose. Me, or your boy? Chop chop!" His hand tightened and Emma knew that it was now or never. And she didn't have a choice at all, no matter what he said. She looked into those eyes, bluer than the sky, bluer than forget-me-nots, and saw him faintly nod.

"Killian… I love you."

The cries from behind her roared to a crescendo, and she stepped forward, Excalibur sliding cleanly through his heart. His hand fell, Henry falling with it, and Emma knew that her parents and Gold were rushing to the boy. She caught his falling body, and let her anguish pour out of her, her magic light and dark exploding all the street lamps on Main Street.

"Emma… love…"His voice was weak. This would be it, his swan song. His hand, stripped of his rings earlier in the day, reached up and touched her temple and everything changed.

They were back in Camelot… in the middlemist field. They were back in the clothes from the day they took their ride and Killian was walking towards her, whole and good. And god, he looked good. Emma couldn't help herself, she ran into his arms. HE caught her in a hug, the tightest she's ever felt.

"Oh Emma, my love." Killian crooned into her hair. "I'm so sorry. But you did so good darling. You did perfect."

Emma pulled away, still not letting go. "What?"

Killian's hand, bare still, brushed her hair back and stared at her like he never would again. "It's over Emma. It's my last spell, and I'm using it to say goodbye and to say I'm sorry. I'm still dying love, I couldn't be a survivor anymore. But I've saved you and that's all I could ever want."

Emma's heart was in her throat and she felt like she couldn't breathe. "No, Killian no! We can change it. I did it before-"

"We already went down that road. Emma, it's done. I'm done. Once I die, the darkness dies. It'll leave you and die with me." His own eyes were brimming with tears, and darting all over her face. Trying to memorize it no doubt.

Emma felt herself losing it, losing him, and her walls fell shattered to her feet. "I can't do this without you Killian. Not anymore. Not now that I've felt what its really like!"

"Aye Love, You can. You have your parents, and your boy and your brother. Even Regina needs you in her own demented way. Maybe you'll even love again."

She had a million things to say to that. That none of them ever knew her like he did, that he's the only one who matters, that she'll never love anyone like she loved him. But the field was growing blurry, and she knew his illusion- he- was failing.

"I love you Killian Jones. And I will drag you back from hell one way or another." And before he could respond she pulled him to her, kissing him like she never would again. Their tears made it salty, but his lips were soft and fit perfectly with hers. They clung to each other, no space in between and their breath intermingling. And then he collapsed and the illusion faded away until he was in her lap on the cold wet asphalt in Storybrooke.

Killian's last breaths were ragged, and slow as he forced out his last words. "I would expect nothing else… I love you…Emma, my Swan." His hand dropped from her cheek and she knew he was gone.

She felt a strong breeze, and her hair blew loose in it, back to blonde. The darkness was gone, and she could feel the load lifted. She theoretically could breathe fully again, and the whispers at last subsided. But she has never felt so cold, so alone. Her sobs are hideously loud, and _she doesn't give a damn._ She did this! Her selfishness and weakness, she caused all of this! Merlin had warned her and she had failed everyone, she had failed Killian and his life was forfeited.

It wasn't right.

This was not how their story ended.

She knew they all were standing around her, staring at her. Her mother whispered something to her father about her hair and thankfully no one replied. She took a breath to steady herself and leaned down to press one last kiss against his lips. Then she slid out from under his body, carefully laying it down.

She shook her hair back and faced her family, their family. "I'm getting him back. Anyone who's up to help me, come on. Otherwise, stay out of my way."


End file.
